Photos by Amanda Matthews Photography
Don’t ya love fall?! It’s been beautiful the last couple days and I’ve been taking full advantage of the cool weather and starting to break in the fall gear! This post is especially important to me because it combines two of my favorite things… fall fashion & my faith! There’s something about this time of year that rejuvenates my soul. We witness God’s artistic talent as the leaves change colors which is one of my favorites parts! We also get to start breaking out the jackets! I love chambray jackets this time of year as the perfect layering piece. I have two shades of this jacket that end up being on constant repeat! Wrap dresses are also a great season transitional item to pair with boots and cardigans when it gets a bit colder. This Nordstrom wrap dress gets sooo much use! Statement earrings by Bauble Bar are my new favorite thing so when I came across these turquoise beauties, I had to have them! They are budget friendly and so much fun! Now on to my faith! I’ll be sharing my testimony in another post but I wanted to share why my faith is important to me. I also wanted to share what it’s gotten me through in life. I’ve always felt God gave me the best guardian angel. I was born into a biological family that was already so broken and tossed into fostercare at such a young age. I also spent a number of years in a children’s home which basically felt like a glorified orphanage at times. I’ll save my fostercare story for another post as well as there are way too many details. In some ways, it’s been like living two different lives. I’ve experienced a thanksgiving visiting my biological mom in jail and also experienced learning how to swim at a country club with an nanny. Because of the different extremes, it has been hard to find people that can relate to me at times. On the other hand, I have a deep understanding of all walks of life and a very empathetic heart. I have a very raw soul and had to grow up extremely fast. The one consistenty throughout my life is God has always supplied a way of connecting with him. I learned to depend on him sooo young because not all of the living conditions or people raising me were safe or healthy including my biological mother. I had to make adult decisions at a young age. As a believer we all go through heartbreak. There are certain souls that don’t survive the heartbreaks in the way God would hope. My first heartbreak in life was my birth mom. It wasn’t just her mistakes that affected my chaotic life but it was her mixed harsh/soft/lying treatment towards me that left a lasting mark. She was sick and it took years to understand that. The second heartbreak was being separated from a few of my siblings(my younger sisters) as a toddler. They grew up in an entirely different family. I also experienced being separated from my brother at the children’s home years later because they separate girls from boys there at a certain age by law when you live in a place like that. Imagine taking ur kids and putting them in separate houses 50 yards from each other. As I look back, I always think it was these three heartbrakes alone that should have hardened my heart. I had every reason to feel like it was God’s fault. The best example of how it felt was like taking a mirror and letting it crash into pieces on the ground. But as God’s wonderful power always exists, he kept my heart soft. He gave me a strong desire to always have him close. He also kept me kind hearted. Not to say I didn’t struggle. I also experienced some bullying from other girls growing up from being pushed down on the playground by a group of girls in elementary school who would just taunt me to a girl at the children’s home who would pin me down and pinch and hit me. Luckily I had the insight to realize it was their issues and insecurities that caused that behavior. I was a teary eyed kid at times and there was a stage where I wouldn’t talk… at all at the children’s home. For anyone that knows my babble self, that would shock you. There was a lot of God’s goodness throughout my life too. I had a self confidence he instilled and an adventurous heart. I have good relationships with my siblings I didn’t get to live with. That took work and time. There is another sibling but that’s for the fostercare post:) I have been blessed to have a foster family that has stayed in my life always even if I wasn’t always living with them. They taught me never to let my circumstance affect my desire to succeed or reach my goals. I have amazing girlfriends that have been my rock and I found the love of my life:) I knew he was the person I wanted to marry when I was able to say aloud I would go through it all again if it led me to him. He understands my soul in a way no other guy had been able to. I also have in great in laws that I’m learning how to be a family with. So I’ll wrap up this long post to say that sharing my faith is important to me because God left a pretty big mark on my life. The beautiful part about faith is it’s this ongoing blessing that on your worst day.. your worst moment, he’s got you:) I don’t know of a better gift in life.
Thanks for stopping by!